Is it even possible? Maybe my son and daughter are too close in age for him to see her as anything but a punching bag and occasional playmate. He is older and bigger and faster and stronger, and he doesn't see why he should allow her to, say, go to the bathroom first. Being so close in age, the competitive feel is there. If one decides to play with a certain toy, the other will try to get there faster. That's just the nature of siblings, but I would like to at least practice some manners here and there, and we have a built in lady in training to practice on.
He has been introduced to and has expressed his disagreement with the "girls first" rule. In his mind, if he is faster, he is first. This goes beyond his sister. I have watched in horror as he, rather than wait for someone to cross his path, will cut right in front of another person, causing them to stop or nearly trip. It really bugs me when he does that to older ladies.
Today, the other little boy that usually rides to kindergarten with us was gone, so I was able to hear everything my son was saying and doing to the little girl that we pick up. She's a sweet, sort of shy girl, but that doesn't keep my little man from carrying on a conversation with her, one sided or not. Today, he made her climb over the top of him to get to her seat, then gleefully showed her how he can talk in a way that sounds like he's burping. They climbed out of the van, him leaving her to close the door, and ran up the sidewalk to the school. I thought he was going to pull it out, as he swung the door open, and the girl was running up the sidewalk, but then he went inside and let the door slam in her face. And somehow he manages to have girlfriends already?
I realize that this will be an uphill battle right up to the time that some other woman takes him off my hands, but I think it's one that needs fighting. We'll be discussing and practicing how to be a gentleman starting tonight and ending when I die, probably. Any advice on this is appreciated.
Oh, wow, All I could do, was try to talk to them, it would have helped a whole lot if their Dads would have put a word in now and then, but I seemed to pick lousy role models as husbands. I guess I did okay, none of my four sons is a womanizer or a wife beater. I know, it's nice to have the door opened for you and the toilet seat put back down, but some women, a while back, wanted equal rights, and they got them - which includes having a door shut in her face.
ReplyDeleteIt is refreshing to have a young person today, to say Yes,Mam, or Yes Sir. That seems to be a lost art.My youngest step daughter is working with hers on a daily basis, and it shows,at some times more than others.They tend to be a little lax around us grandparents at times, but I think overall, they are using these skills in public, which is worth a lot. My mother once told me that I would see them using things I had taught them,with others,way before they would use them with me. I find that to be so true, in lots of cases.Many friends and family members were forever telling my mother what good children she had raised and what good workers we turned out to be.That was so good for her to hear,since she hardly ever got to see us behaving that way in her presence.We were unruly and hard to get to do our own chores,but when we were with others, we knew how and we used everything Mom had taught us.I experienced a lot of the same while helping my husband to raise his two daughters.It seemed at the time, that they were defying all that I tried to teach them, but today they make me proud in using many of my teachings.
ReplyDeletefirst off, CUTE picture! After that, good luck, we're working on making little ladies over here, and it's hard work. Just keep emphasizing the importance of being polite.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you start making it a game. Like getting him involved by watching you do it for his sister. Or your husband doing it for you and her, then making a big deal of it. Then he will want to do too. My brother was a bit like that to me. And what happened is all our lives I catered to him since he was my big brother. Not so much now though!LOL But I will say he was quite selfish and still is some.
ReplyDeleteSharon, I guess I'm not much of a feminist. I'm all for voting rights and equal pay, but holding a door for someone, anyone, is just good manners to me.
ReplyDeleteSawn, that's very true. I know my kids are normally very good with please and thank you for others. It's usually me that gets ordered around like a maid.
Adelina, thanks. It's an older picture, but I love it.
Katlupe, he does have a good role model in a dad, and they sat down and had a little talk, but a game is a good idea.
Be creative and ready to take advantage of every possible teaching moment. My son likes to watch Cinderella and I make a point of shoing him her inner beauty and suggesting that's the kind of girl he'll want to marry some day. Not quite what you're aiming for, but another aspect of it. My husband is good with all that and our son wants to be just like him so he does try to hold doors for people, etc. I think it's just something we have to work on constantly and then one day we'll be pleasantly surprised by their actions. My struggle is getting him to have table manners. I keep telling him it's my job to get him ready for his first date and I've got a lot of work to do!
ReplyDeletePS-love the new banner
Ug, table manners. That's a tough one too. Every meal is a struggle. Why must he guzzle his milk and then belch? I have asked nicely, commanded, threatened, dismissed from the table, all to no avail. ...and talking with the mouth full. I remember being told that, so I must have been hard to teach as well. :)
ReplyDeleteI applaud your efforts. Chivalry does seem to be dead these days --- don't give up. A man with manners can go a long way in this world. :)
ReplyDeleteI think your doing what you can really well. I'd just keep up the reminders of manners & why its important. I think as he grows he'll get it :)
ReplyDeleteThat picture is adorable!!!! You are so good to be teaching manners at such a young age. Like Nancy says, chivalry is dying. Good for you to keep it alive.
ReplyDelete~marisa