I have three kids. I felt fairly confident in my parenting abilities while I was pregnant with the third one, but she is teaching me that I'm an idiot. Nothing about her is what I expected. She definitely has a strong personality and apparently, likes to be the boss. My first two kids were both born on the same day of the pregnancy, nine days early. I didn't expect her to hit it exactly, but she didn't even come close. She waited until she gained another pound, the little stinker. Most babies have a "quiet alert" period after birth. Not her. She screamed at me for an entire hour. I guess I was doing things all wrong. My first child was a wonderful sleeper. He took long naps during which I would get my projects done. This one will not take a nap unless you hold her the entire time. And don't think you can put her down when she's awake either. Not unless you stay right there to talk to her. I was not exactly a baby-wearing mom before, but I really have no choice with this one. She sleeps pretty well at night. I can't really complain about that, except that no two nights are the same. She keeps me on my toes. I just really need an instruction manual for her to help me troubleshoot when an error code comes wailing out of her mouth. sigh...
And speaking of trying to understand kids.... why do my kids cry like I'm torturing them when I ask them to tidy the room or put away clothes? I sentenced them to life in the room without parole apparently, when I told them they were to stay in the room until it was cleaned up. Oh, the tears, the fits, the fights about who's not helping enough, the whimpers about how hard it is to pick up those pieces of cookie that somehow got there without either one of them leaving the kitchen with a cookie. The dirty socks are so heavy and the laundry basket is all the way past the bed! And the renewed weeping when I pointed out the collected rubbish in the corners and under the bed...holding snack time hostage was almost more than they could bear! It wasn't that bad to start with really, but they sure made it a miserably long task.
It was just one of those days yesterday, when everyone wakes up already needing a nap. Unfortunately, I couldn't enforce the family nap because I had to watch my brothers kids and naps just don't happen with them around. They were added to my sisters kids who are always here. It's a bit exhausting helping the kids figure out how to play with each other again. It was especially bad yesterday... someone always being left out. I finally got a break when my mom got home from work.
Yesterday was a bit of a stormy day, dark clouds, lots of wind, a little lightning, but no rain. A useless storm. It fit my mood perfectly. I just stood out in the wind for a while in the evening and then decided to stop being useless and I pulled weeds in the garden and tried to secure things down so they won't blow away during the night. It was a crazy strong wind. I haven't been out in the wind in a really long time. I live in Wyoming, where the wind blows a lot. I love the wind. It's hard to explain why. There's something about it that clears my mind. I think it reminds me that there is a much greater power than myself. There is a much bigger picture than these daily battles and these little annoyances (meaning the whining and fighting, not the children themselves) should not overpower my life. Hopefully today will be better.