"Good" movies are depressing

This is kind of a different post than usual for me.  I don't usually watch many movies.  There's just so many other things I'd rather be doing.   Maybe it's the drab, bored with the same old, same old feeling I've been having,  but lately, I've been on a movie kick.  Being seriously disappointed a few weeks ago, I was careful in our selection this time.  I wanted to get a family movie to watch with the kids on Valentines Day, but the redbox was seriously OUT of kids shows.  Guess everyone had that idea.  So, we rented Inception and set the kids up with a movie in the office. 

Our movie was interesting.  I still felt a bit mislead from what I read in the description, but it wasn't bad.  It's the kind of movie that makes you question your reality, in a Matrix sort of way.    I know that this right here is reality, because in my dreams, the dishes magically do themselves and I can see that they are still in there waiting for me.  It was not the sort of movie that I would suggest to watch for a romantic evening.  Kind of depressing in that way.  The boy does not get the girl, because she's already dead.  Yup, life sucks.


My husband brought a movie for me to watch.  A truly amazingly done movie, called, The Northface.  It's about mountain climbers in Switzerland trying to be the first to climb the Eiger mountain.   It's actually in German, but with English subtitles.  And he was right.  It is an amazing movie.  I couldn't stop watching it.  The story line is great, the filming was amazing.  Very well done, but, it's based on a true story and therefore must be depressing.  No happy ending there either.  I still recommend it though.



 Then, I watched The Duchess by myself one day during nap time.  It's not new and I barely remember hearing about it when it did come out.  I got sucked in because I like "period" movies.  I blame the princess stories I grew up with.  I think I'm trained to fall for the movies with fancy dresses and poofy hair...marrying a prince and living happily ever after in a beautiful castle. 

This movie had all those aspects, except my idea of happily ever after is quite different than the one in the movie.  They just kind of live ever after.   I do the same thing with other period movies.  I know how things will end, but I keep hoping that somehow, everything will work out wonderfully and they will ride off into the sunset.  Nope.  I come away from these movies feeling so sad at the plight of women in those days.  They truly had no rights.  At all.  Even while my mind is reminding me that it was a movie and not real, and certainly Hollywooded up, I find myself moping around feeling sorry for the women that lived before me.


 My mind does this to me.  It's why I can't watch horror films.  I am not able to just say, wow, that was a well made movie.  Or, they really drove that point home.  Or, the actors were so believable.  No, the story sucks me in and sticks with me for a long time.  I have to watch a few completely silly, happy movies to snap out of it.

I realized that a non-depressing movie is one that ends with the wedding.  They leave you off with the hope of a wonderful life thereafter.  The depressing ones start with a wedding and then show you all the ways that life stinks.  Yep, prince charming isn't so charming once you get to know him.  In fact, he's a jerk.  Too bad you're stuck with him.  ...Okay, they don't all start with a wedding...  but movies that actually follow real life events usually don't end well.  Although there are a few sports - underdog shows that end well, and I like those.

I find that I prefer the old standby romance when I watch a movie.  No matter how truthful or real a movie is, I still want that happy ending.  I don't need to know about real life.  I have a real life.  I already know it's not all sparkles and prancing ponies.  I watch movies to be entertained and taken away for a little while. 

Yep, give me the old, boring, predictable romances.  I'm old, boring and predictable.

February Daydreams

February is a tough month.  Spring is still way off, but I can't help but look for it.  I want to be outside, but I can't.  I have tons of things I could and should be doing inside, but I don't want to. 

February is my daydreaming month.  Despite needing to plan meals, or do dishes, or fold clothes, I sit and dream.  I sketch yet another idea for my someday house.  I think I've drawn up dozens of house plans through the years.  We probably won't ever actually build it, but I like to imagine it and draw it, yet again. 

I plan my someday garden when I should be planning out my now garden.  It's so small though, it won't take much time to figure out.  I dream about my future homestead.  Where I'll put the chickens, plant the apple trees, put the herbs and hang the hammock. 

I get antsy to get on with it, even though I know we are here for the next few years.  Patience now so I can get my dreams later. (repeat over and over...)  In years past, I got through this time by planting seeds and watching them grow a little everyday in the window sill.  Here, however, I don't have good windows to do that, so I'm trying to do a little winter sowing outside.  I'm excited about that, but it's out there, in the cold.  I can't peek at them while in my bare feet, sipping hot chocolate.

There are things I can work on here and now.  I should make a list, but I already have several lists going on and I have just ignored them.  Maybe by writing it here, I'll pay more attention to it.

I need to make the meatloaf for tonight, and remember to cook the asparagus that is sitting in the fridge. 

I need to plant a few more seeds and check on the ones I already planted.

I have several sewing projects that I want to work on, but I don't quite have the inspiration yet.  I want to sew an apron, more wool slippers and an Easter dress for the dancing queen.

I want to get out my wool spinning stuff and work on that a bit, but I also need to come up with an idea of what to make out of it as a gift for my sister who gave me all the stuff.  (don't say socks...)  I feel kind of silly working on something with no finished product in mind.

I need to do some mending.

And apparently, I need to put together the lego Ironman control center...

Motivation

We're a bit slow here today.  I'm finding it difficult to get motivated to do anything.  Anytime I start to do something, I get called back to assist in the lego Ironman construction.  The little man was so excited to spend his Christmas/birthday money on a lego set.  I should have thought it through a bit more.  It's tough for me to find all those pieces and get them assembles correctly.  It's dang near impossible for a six year old.  I should just turn him loose with the pieces and see what we end up with I suppose.

The dancing queen spent her Christmas money on a princess journal that comes with stickers, stamps and glitter glue.  Oh boy.  It's pure joy.  At least she was able to entertain herself this morning.

At least the baby enjoyed her blocks.  I always worry about something I make not being enjoyed.  She likes to throw them.

I'm so slow, the kids got dry cereal without milk for breakfast.  I'm working up some energy to at least warm up some leftovers for lunch.  I'm having to really fight the inclination to put on a chic flick, wrap up in a blanket and eat cookies.  As nice as that sounds, it wouldn't be, because the kids would be constantly asking me to explain why somebody in the movie did that, or went there, or said that... they would be asking for popcorn, or wanting to eat my cookies and they would no doubt be in my lap, which wouldn't be so bad if they could actually sit still.  Besides, I should do something today.

And we don't have cookies.  We need cookies.  What is a house without cookies?

I thought it would be a great idea to make some sugar cookies and the kids could help cut out valentine shapes.  It is a tradition, after all.  I was getting all excited to do something when I discovered that we are out of butter.  1/2 cup in the whole house!  I always have butter on hand because I use it so much.  So now, I am deflated again.  The baby is napping so I can't run to the store.  Besides, it's almost lunch and the little man has to get ready for school.  If you need me, I'll be under the blanket in the recliner... watching a cartoon... I can compromise.

Someday...

It was a rough night last night, and I found myself making a mental list of all the ways I am a failure.  Why does everything seem so crappy in the middle of the night?  So today, I'm needing to make a list of  positive things to look forward to...someday.

Someday, my kids will be grown up, and I will be able to take a step without hearing the squeak, rattle or crunch of some toy.
Someday, my little monster will sleep through the night.
Someday, I won't be living in a basement.
Someday, husband will finish school.
Someday, I won't constantly have cheerios stuck to the bottom of my socks.
Someday, I will be able to garden like I want to.
Someday, I will be able to have some chickens, and maybe a milk cow.
Someday, I will actually prepare for things instead of always flying by the seat of my pants.
Someday, the kids will be able to reach the cups and pour their own milk .
Someday, I will finish a project.
Someday, I will learn to play guitar.
Someday, I will remember what I walked into the bedroom to get.
Someday, I will remember that Friday is early release day at school.
Someday, I will remember where I put my sunglasses.
Someday, I will do all the things that I just can't get to yet.
Someday, we will make it through an entire meal without spilling something on someone.
Someday, I will reach my goals.

I have garden envy.

I had to put my garden to bed early this year because of our move and I still haven't gotten around to putting in a fall garden like I had planned. Probably too late now. Meanwhile, the next door neighbor has a beautiful garden. I peek through the fence at the vines of beans and the tomatoes turning red. With the beautiful weather, we've been eating our evening meal outside on the patio and I end up just looking at her garden, trying to identify everything. Beets, potatoes, onions, peppers, climbing squash and a raspberry patch. She has a peach tree too! She was out trying to save a heavy branch by picking some of the fruit. My children put on their poor urchin looks and she sent a bag of peaches home with them. What a nice lady. She even lets them catch grasshoppers in her garden. They love that. I watched her tonight, walking around the plants, talking to them a little, and picking a few ripe tomatoes and a zucchini.
Sigh...
Now I sit here dreaming of my someday garden. Maybe it will look something like this.

from CountryLiving.com